A night you won’t remember

I am a fairly controlling person. I have mentioned before my desire for routine, I would never go so far as to I have OCD but I will not deny that I like things done a certain way. For this reason I find it so difficult to understand peoples desire to get ‘Off their face’ ‘trollied’ ‘wasted’ ‘smashed’ ‘fucked’ drunk. For me the sensation is completely undesirable. To get to the point when even your own body is out of your control makes me feel physically ill. This post is not written to make you feel bad for having a drink, more to question your intentions for drinking and ask about your behavior when you have had that one or four drinks to many.

I am partial to a Lambrusco on a hot day, a Pina Colada in the summer or glass of champagne to celebrate; I enjoy the taste and it can make an occasion feel more special. There is nothing wrong a glass of wine with dinner or a sneaky pint down the pub after work (hey I’m Irish I am in no way snubbing alcohol) but what I question is people who drink because they feel they can’t have fun without it, or because the day doesn’t feel complete without reaching the end of a bottle. I am not bad mouthing alcoholics either because I understand that is a disease in the same way that smoking or anorexia can compel a person. I just don’t understand. It is expensive, unhealthy, fattening and in so many cases anti social. So why when you have the will to stop, don’t you?

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At the feeble age of 17 I am aware of my ignorance on the matter, but then I also have the perspective that many older social scientists do not. I go to parties and gatherings with people my age (admittedly not a lot) and witness their attitudes towards alcohol. I don’t drink a lot at parties, mainly because I am too conscious of my actions if I did, I also don’t like the vulnerability that you allow yourself when you drink too much. I have been the person to call cabs, hold back hair, pull total strangers off my friends and wake them up in the night to make sure they don’t have concussion too many times to want to put someone else in that position.

I am gunna have a go at both guys and girls here, for the same reason but on different sides of the fence. So as always ladies first:

Why put your self in that position. Only 6.5% of those charged with rape are convicted, and that statistic is mainly linked with the excuse ‘it wasn’t rape if she was drunk’ if you get to the point where your own word in court means nothing because you were off your face on WKD and Skittles vodka, then you need to seriously re-evaluate. So much of this is caused by feminism, that women should drink as much as men just because they can.Well I have news for you, you can’t so stop trying. Not only will he out drink you, but you become an easy target when you try to out alcohol him. Just be smart about things, if you’re in a group of people you know and trust yeah let your hair down, but if you’re out with people you don’t really know in a place you don’t really trust, then slow it down on the fish bowl. If I’m honest I don’t really understand the need to gets oneself to the point of comatose, but if you insist on doing so at least be smart about and understand that you are having a great time, but the designated sober is probably tired of chasing your drunken arse around and pissed off at your vomit on her shoes.

Guys its your turn and don’t think that just because I am slightly less adverse to your drinking doesn’t mean you’re getting off easy. I suppose that it is because in social situations I have experienced far less boys or men vomiting in the streets or having to be carried home, that isn’t to say that there are none, or even that I have been seeing a fair sample size because after watching sun, sex and suspicious parents I am well aware of males capability to get hammered and pass out in an ant’s nest (okay so that may have been the inbetweeners movie but it still counts). My point is that on a whole, guys are better at taking care of themselves when drunk than some girls. But they are the one that can be the sober idiots. I have lost count of the number of times I have been sat next to a guy when  a tipsy girl with a bottle of £3 wine under her arm and he’s gone ‘she looks like she will be fun later’ and yeah, she probably would be, if you like the taste of vomit and girls who nod off half way through, but my main point here is don’t be  a dick. If she is at that point, then put her in a cab and send her home, don’t take advantage. Yeah she shouldn’t have put herself in that situation in the first place, but this is your opportunity to be a good human being and a gentleman and send the drunken bitch to bed ALONE. Take this advice, if she wouldn’t sleep with you sober, then don’t push her when drunk. There is a fine line between persistence and force. I know by saying this I am probably cutting the number of guys getting laid by around 50% by you know who listens to me anyway.

I’m not saying that every guy is a rapist, or that every girl a victim.I am just trying to raise the point that people need to be more careful. Aside from these dangers, there is alcohol poisoning, drunk driving, concussion, chocking on your  own vomit. All these glamorous consequences, all for a night you won’t remember.

Just ask yourself, was it worth it?