This isn’t a post about helping you find true love. It’s a list of tips to help point out the fakers. I am speaking here from a female perspective (because really that’s the only one I have). Its not a sin to appreciate attention and most girls wouldn’t admit it but as much we complain about it, we actually love male attention. I’m not talking about someone following you around worshiping the ground you walk on or kissing your feet. No just the odd passing glance or the wolf whistle from a white van. Such attention can literally make a day.
But this attention often isn’t enough for some girls. They need more, a guy who will always reply to texts, someone who will tell them they are pretty when they complain about being fat or who will go shopping with them if they send an (all too seductive) winky face at the end of a text. A lot of girls may not realise they are doing something wrong in this, its not stringing him a long if you never make clear indications of your feelings, then it is just a simple misunderstanding.
I’m not saying I’m not guilty of this, there are people in my life I have avoided being 100% honest because I enjoy the feeling that they desire my company. However, I do feel this is incredibly unfair to guys everywhere. I have been a teenage girl for nearly 5 years and still have no idea what we’re on about. We complain constantly about guys being dishonest or confusing or indecisive; but are we any different really? So here are some hints for guys, for if you think a girl likes you but you’re not really sure, I’m not saying if she does all five she is defiantly into you but it could be helpful. Now I may be kicked out of the girl club for disclosing this information, my membership ripped up in front of my eyes and the bitching skills I have acquired over the years now wasted with no ‘sisters’ to share them with. But I feel it needs saying.
No longer should we be confused over who is flirtatious and tactile and who is hopelessly in love with us. There will always be exceptions to the rules but there will also be girls who follow the rules to the tee.
1) Does she text you first?
Texting first is a traumatic ordeal for most girls. It is a clear indication that even in the world of snapchat and facebook chivalry is dead. It is awful to have to put yourself out there and be open to rejection. On whats app when you sit and watch as the two little ticks for read message appear and you pray for a response. No girl wants to look desperate and show a need for your company, but if she likes you enough she will swallow her pride and hit send. It may also be the case that she doesn’t just start a conversation with “hi, how are you?” she will find something funny, or shocking or a question to lead with, trying to get you on her side from the word go.
2) How quickly does she respond?
From personal experience the speed of reply is generally reflective of how much she likes you. This isn’t to say that if she takes ages to reply she just doesn’t care. Normally, the first response will be the quickest (depending if she has her phone to hand) she wants to show you that she is there, she is available and happy to talk to you. However, after this if she is into you, she will start to mirror your response time. This all goes back to the whole not wanting to appear desperate, if it takes you five or ten minutes to reply to a message then she will leave it five or ten minutes, to reply, she doesn’t want to appear more into the conversation than you are. She may be sitting timing it on her watch starring at the unopened message but until the time is up she isn’t going to look too keen. Alternatively if she views you as more of a friend she will probably reply instantly or when she has the chance, she is unafraid of appearing keen or similarly uninterested in your messages, she will reply when she needs something.
3) Does she talk about other guys?
Contrasting to what you may think if a girl likes you she is more likely to mention other guys in your conversations, they may not even be real, or if they are real then her friendship with them exaggerated for your benefit. She wants you to see her as highly desired, to plant the idea in your mind that other guys want her so you should to. Essentially she is trying to make you jealous. If she is really clever she will play up the name of one guy making you very aware of them, then if you ask about them she will turn it around on you. Make no mistake girls are manipulative as hell, but its because evolution has made us this way. The ancient theory of “playing hard to get” is one very much in practice in the twenty first century.
4) What is she doing when you ask what she is up to/did today?
Dating in a modern world is essentially selling yourself (not in a prostitute kind of thing) but she has to find her USP (unique selling point for those who are not avid apprentice watchers). So if you ask us what we are up to and we want to impress you of course we are going to lie. We will never just be watching telly or refreshing our twitter feed, we are going to be flicking through our favorite Shakespeare or brushing up on our Latin, or saving an albino orphan from a fire. We have to make ourselves sound impressive. Yes its dishonest and the wrong way to go about things and we are all sinners gone to burn in hell, but it sounds an awful lot better than sitting on the sofa in a onesie watching re-runs of friends. If her response to “wuu2” is “nm” she’s not interested (also please note my attempt to be down with the lingo there. I’m so hip) .
5) Is she nice to you?
This one is an old classic. Treat em’ mean keep em’ keen. But in all its clichéd glory it rings some truth. If you’re just a friend (not a close friend, but one she would wave to in the street) then she is going to be polite, she will spare your feelings, bite her tounge and avoid causing offence. If you’re the man of her dreams she is going to make you cry. The sarcasm fairy will come to town, remarks, snide comments, laughter at your expense will all make an appearance. But remember its only because we care. I’ll admit this can be a difficult one to read, because she may just hate you.
I hope this helped and that I’ve shared a little bit of wisdom on the eternal mystery that is females. Then again this could all just be another mind game we as a gender have worked together to create. Or I could be a liar, or a sociopath or a man. You never can tell with the internet.
The Judgement Generation 