#SlaneGirl

I have a couple of thoughts on the recent incident to dominate cyber space. For those of you that haven’t heard about what happened, A girl from Slane was recently caught on camera at the Eminem concert 3 times with 2 different guys in rather compromising positions. I’m not going to post the picture because if you really need to see it, you can find it easy enough and that’s not the purpose of this post. I’m not spreading the rumours because they’re already out there, I am simply voicing an opinion.

1) To those of you tweeting “Give #SlaneGirl a break ect….” are you dumb? If you are trying to let the story die down don’t add to the trending! Every tweet counts. By tweeting your hate of it trending, you are only helping it to trend. I know, lets just take a minute and let the irony wash over you. I’m sure you’re all upstanding people with the best of intentions. But by being these great citizens you’re only allowing the story to live on.

2) Don’t start spouting off about how she is only 16 so its our fault. If she is old enough to go out and do stupid stuff then she is old enough to get caught and deal with the consequences. I appreciate that her consequences are a lot more severe than others who have done stupid things but that’s life. Life’s unfair.

3) Her being drunk is not an excuse. I’m sorry, but I am very much of the opinion that you are just as responsible for your drunk actions as you are for your sober ones. If not more so, she made the decision to drink (even though as her supporters keep saying she “IS ONLY 16”) so she is responsible for her poor choices when she does so.

4) Shut up with your “this is what’s wrong with today’s generation” bullying existed way before the internet and yes its on a wider scale now and if your on the receiving end of it that’s harsh. But you’ve gotta take the good and the bad. Now if someone can sing and records a video in their bedroom its heard by a million people. We have thousands of people who have found fame over the internet. Internet fame has given us Jessie J, Alex Day, Jenna Marbles, that weird girl who ate a tampon in the name of JB. Yeah it sucks if you’re the person trending for a negative action but at the same time look at all the amazing opportunities the internet has given “our generation”.

5) There is a lot of animosity behind the fact that #slaneboy isn’t trending. I admit that its unfair and sexist and all that melarchy. But why are you surprised? There have always been different rules and regulations for guys and that’s just the way it is. The same way we still expect guys to pay on dates and we get doors opened for us in corridors. No it’s not fair but that’s the way it goes. Also I think part of it’s the fact that it was two guys, that’s not great.

6) Little Smile to all of you using Eminem lyrics in your tweets about her. I appreciate the creativity involved. It’s nice that even in perverted situations of young girls making mistakes that get caught on camera and end up going viral online, we can have fun with puns.

7) You aren’t perfect. I agree with freedom of speech and while I personally don’t see it as right you can say what you want about her on twitter. But just think back at your life, I am willing to bet there are moments you aren’t proud of (maybe not as bad, but still not great) that maybe wouldn’t look great if caught on camera. This will probably all die down on the web by next week, but this girl won’t forget it.

So my final thoughts on the issue. What she did was stupid and gross, she is responsible for her actions and has probably learnt her lesson ten times over. But youse on the internet are also responsible for your actions. And if you’re trying to help her, the best thing to do is shut up about it as soon as it leaves the trending topics  it’s forgotten, so don’t prolong things.

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A night you won’t remember

I am a fairly controlling person. I have mentioned before my desire for routine, I would never go so far as to I have OCD but I will not deny that I like things done a certain way. For this reason I find it so difficult to understand peoples desire to get ‘Off their face’ ‘trollied’ ‘wasted’ ‘smashed’ ‘fucked’ drunk. For me the sensation is completely undesirable. To get to the point when even your own body is out of your control makes me feel physically ill. This post is not written to make you feel bad for having a drink, more to question your intentions for drinking and ask about your behavior when you have had that one or four drinks to many.

I am partial to a Lambrusco on a hot day, a Pina Colada in the summer or glass of champagne to celebrate; I enjoy the taste and it can make an occasion feel more special. There is nothing wrong a glass of wine with dinner or a sneaky pint down the pub after work (hey I’m Irish I am in no way snubbing alcohol) but what I question is people who drink because they feel they can’t have fun without it, or because the day doesn’t feel complete without reaching the end of a bottle. I am not bad mouthing alcoholics either because I understand that is a disease in the same way that smoking or anorexia can compel a person. I just don’t understand. It is expensive, unhealthy, fattening and in so many cases anti social. So why when you have the will to stop, don’t you?

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At the feeble age of 17 I am aware of my ignorance on the matter, but then I also have the perspective that many older social scientists do not. I go to parties and gatherings with people my age (admittedly not a lot) and witness their attitudes towards alcohol. I don’t drink a lot at parties, mainly because I am too conscious of my actions if I did, I also don’t like the vulnerability that you allow yourself when you drink too much. I have been the person to call cabs, hold back hair, pull total strangers off my friends and wake them up in the night to make sure they don’t have concussion too many times to want to put someone else in that position.

I am gunna have a go at both guys and girls here, for the same reason but on different sides of the fence. So as always ladies first:

Why put your self in that position. Only 6.5% of those charged with rape are convicted, and that statistic is mainly linked with the excuse ‘it wasn’t rape if she was drunk’ if you get to the point where your own word in court means nothing because you were off your face on WKD and Skittles vodka, then you need to seriously re-evaluate. So much of this is caused by feminism, that women should drink as much as men just because they can.Well I have news for you, you can’t so stop trying. Not only will he out drink you, but you become an easy target when you try to out alcohol him. Just be smart about things, if you’re in a group of people you know and trust yeah let your hair down, but if you’re out with people you don’t really know in a place you don’t really trust, then slow it down on the fish bowl. If I’m honest I don’t really understand the need to gets oneself to the point of comatose, but if you insist on doing so at least be smart about and understand that you are having a great time, but the designated sober is probably tired of chasing your drunken arse around and pissed off at your vomit on her shoes.

Guys its your turn and don’t think that just because I am slightly less adverse to your drinking doesn’t mean you’re getting off easy. I suppose that it is because in social situations I have experienced far less boys or men vomiting in the streets or having to be carried home, that isn’t to say that there are none, or even that I have been seeing a fair sample size because after watching sun, sex and suspicious parents I am well aware of males capability to get hammered and pass out in an ant’s nest (okay so that may have been the inbetweeners movie but it still counts). My point is that on a whole, guys are better at taking care of themselves when drunk than some girls. But they are the one that can be the sober idiots. I have lost count of the number of times I have been sat next to a guy when  a tipsy girl with a bottle of £3 wine under her arm and he’s gone ‘she looks like she will be fun later’ and yeah, she probably would be, if you like the taste of vomit and girls who nod off half way through, but my main point here is don’t be  a dick. If she is at that point, then put her in a cab and send her home, don’t take advantage. Yeah she shouldn’t have put herself in that situation in the first place, but this is your opportunity to be a good human being and a gentleman and send the drunken bitch to bed ALONE. Take this advice, if she wouldn’t sleep with you sober, then don’t push her when drunk. There is a fine line between persistence and force. I know by saying this I am probably cutting the number of guys getting laid by around 50% by you know who listens to me anyway.

I’m not saying that every guy is a rapist, or that every girl a victim.I am just trying to raise the point that people need to be more careful. Aside from these dangers, there is alcohol poisoning, drunk driving, concussion, chocking on your  own vomit. All these glamorous consequences, all for a night you won’t remember.

Just ask yourself, was it worth it?

Recessively Dominant

There are a lot of things we look for in friendship. We want someone we can relax around, who we can have fun with and we feel is trustworthy. But its difficult to see how our friendships mould us in to the perfect companion.

This post is very conceptual and maybe completely incorrect, but it is based on an observation I have made on several occasions both about myself and others. Maybe it has been made a million times or maybe I am making a sociological breakthrough, but for the purpose of this post I am going to write on the basis that I am making a entirely new observation. Apologies if this is the millionth and first time you will hear this.

Friendships work on the basis of opposites attract, I don’t mean that you can have nothing in common with your friends, but there are certain personality traits that lend themselves to occurring only once in a successful relationship. Here  I am focussing particularly on being shy, or outspoken. Talking or being spoken to, leading or following. For all intensive purposes the Dominant and the Recessive.

Allow me to talk GCSE biology for  a moment. All genes are either recessive or dominant, If two recessives occur in the same genotype then the recessive gene is the one that will occur. In terms of friendships, this is doomed, you need someone to step forward and be the brighter character, as horrible as it may sound to you and maybe I am not wording it correctly, there has to be a dominant friend. The same result will occur if two larger than life Dominants appear together, they will destroy each other in the fight for the lime light. So the recipe (mixed metaphor check me out) for a perfect friendship is a little bit of both.

This is not to say that two dominants cannot be friends, just that during their time together one of them will assume that alpha role and the other that of the beta. I also do not mean that you cannot at some point in time be both the dominant and the recessive person. It is all about adapting to your environment. Assessing a situation, deciding what is required of you and acting accordingly. I myself am a fairly quite person, I prefer to listen to a person and form my own opinions of them quietly never voicing them unnecessarily. I avoid conflict and enjoy pleasing people, I by nature am a recessive. However, I have recently found myself playing the part of a dominant. Taking the role of the leader and playing up to make my company feel at ease, if I’m honest I don’t know if I like this side of myself all that much, the false representation of confidence and optimism leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but I do so because It is what is required to make a friendship work.

It is not only in myself that I have noticed it, it is everywhere, the shyness we put on around those larger than life characters as it is easier to concede than to fight a losing battle for the leading role. In the same way we have all made the effort to speak a little louder and make a couple more jokes when with those crippled with nerves because it is through this that we make them feel at ease. Have you ever heard someone say, ‘Ohh they are really chatty around me’ or ‘I just can’t seem to hold a conversation with them’. Very few of us are straight forward, we all have the ability to fill the role required, some are just more willing than others to play the part.