Okay so it is over 4 months since my last post. I am officially shit.But we will move on with my most sincere apologies.
The past four months for me have been pretty hectic. I turned 18 and entered into my last year of school, I’ve written endless personal statements and applied for Uni. I partied, I regretted partying, I partied some more. I’m balancing 4 a levels on top of play rehearsals and some reminants of a social life and trying to get my future in order. I got a tattoo and a piercing, I’ve met new people and am now on the home stretch to the rest of my life.
One thing that has struck me about this past few months. is how frquently I am asked what I want to do in the future. 6 months ago I wasn’t allowed to buy my own tipex and now I am being expected to make life altering decisions all by myself. I have thought a lot about my future for a couple years now and I think I pretty much have it all worked out, I have my dream.But for some reason when I’m inform people of my aspirations I am told I am wrong. My friends, family, teachers, cat all look at me with such horror and dissapointment that one could only assume I had announced my goals to me a psychotic serial killer, prostitute who works part time kicking kittens into pins.
So Here it is internet, my god awful career choice : I want to be a housewife and stay at home mum.
Never in a million years could I have imagined that my straight edge, conservative life choice would instigate such horror. I don’t understand what is so wrong with wanting to look after my husband,cook and clean, provide the best and most supportive environment for my kids to grow up in and create a traditional family environment in a twenty first century world.
Here are the responses I have recieved and my responses to them:
“But you are so much more intelligent then that” “you could do so much more”
My first issue with these statements, are that I resent the implication that a housewife, is such because of little or no other career opportunities. There are probably several other things that I could do, some of them may even be interessting and incredibly worth while, but they aren’t what I want to do.Emily Davidson didn’t throw herself in front of a horse so that every woman could grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer, she did so that women gained the right to do what they wanted with their lives, to give them the freedom of independacne of thought and to make their own dreams come true. I dream of housewifery, i don’t see that my IQ should prevent me from the same free will that everybody else has. i would also refute the “so much more” call me old fashioned but I don’t think there is anything more important than raising a child and I do feel that whenever possbile it should be treated as a full time job. I will be on the PTA, I will have a bumper sticker saying the taxi of mum, I will make sure you have a special packed lunch on your birthday. No I do not want to be a brain surgeon or an astonaught but I will do my best to raise my children so that they may choose to be.
“Do you really want to be controlled by a man”
Really the short answer is yes. I haven’t been hit with the femanism stick yet. But I will try to be more eloquent in my response. I don’t consider it control, I would look at it more like dependance with trust. I would rely on my husband for financial support, but at the same time I would consider it a two way street, I would work to make his life easier, the cooking and cleaning, talking about issues at work, looking after our family and possible pets. While from the outside it would look as if a housewife were free loading off the hard work of the husband, the support system goes both ways, if she were to leave he also would find himself in trouble.
“Did you know that 50% of marriages end in divorce”
Yes I did. But I also know that figure does not exculde, drunken mistakes, marriages at a young age, those marrying for citizenship and those marrying due to unplanned pergnancy. These kinds of marriages which are becoming increasingly more popular will drag up that divorce statisitcs for miles, couple that with the fact that more and more couples are choosing to remain lifepartners rather than ‘tie the knot’ and of course the odds aren’t in your favour. But look at the marriages that have stayed together, thought out, planned, yes there are casulties, but that risk is true if you get married with the intention to work or not. I will just have to find the right person and hope for the best. I resent the comments I get calling me niave and foolish for expecting such a relationship in the twenty first century, I could almost understand if I was saying I wanted to find a husband now at the feeble age of 18, but I’m not and I don’t consider it to much to ask that when I do find someone to marry me i expect it to be for life. I don’t see why anyone would enter into a marriage that they view to have an expiration date. I would also like to point out, that should my huband and I split, I do intend on attending university before I get married, I will work until I get married and then should I ever not be married, I will attempt to work again. Many individuals don’t seem to understand that by becoming a housewife you do not surrender your own skills and identity, you simple choose to work in a team.
“You make me sick”
I had no real responce to this one, it just made me giggle.
Call me old fashioned (please really do I would love nothing more than to be a good old 50s housewife) but I don’t understand how my jokes about dropping out of school and becoming a prostitute are met with less objection than that of my housewife aspirations. Maybe its feminism gone wild or simply that cath kidston aprons are out of fashion. So please if you were reading this thinking that I am wasting my life away aspiring to nothing more than a glorified sandwich maker, please don’t. Life is about discovering what makes you happy and finding away to make that a part of your everyday life. I enjoy looking after people, cooking, cleaning and organising. I like the feeling that my efforts have improved someone else’s day. I don’t need a uniform or a work christmas party, while an assistant would be fun and a boss to complain about would amuse me. I would rather spend my days looking after those I care about most in the world.