So my post a couple months ago “5 signs that she likes you” received quite a few hits, this left me thinking that maybe that’s the kind of thing I should be writing about. So this maybe the most cringy cliché thing I have ever written, but it also maybe where my time is best spent. I don’t claim to be an expert on relationships, dating, canoodling in bars ect, but I have been a teen for long enough, seen enough rom-coms and read enough trashy romance novels to be able to offer a little insight or just highlight things that really should be obvious but for some reason aren’t.
I don’t pretend to speak for the whole of women kind here, not even the whole of 13-19 year old females in the UK, but I feel I can give a few little views that might help avoid some of the “disgustingly cringy, face in hands, head banging against the wall. curl up in a ball and die” moments.
Here it goes, some points I would like to raise that will help the teenage dating years go a little smoother. I would also like to point out that my perspective is a girls so these tips are mainly for the guys out there. I am an (almost) 18 years old girl from London I am fairly conservative and traditional in my views, this is what I think we want.
1) MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
I cannot stress this enough, I don’t care what century it is: You have to go first, if it’s talking to us in a bar/party/school it doesn’t matter. In the same way you should call first, add us on facebook, follow us on twitter, don’t make us go first. Be a gentleman and help us from having to embarrass to put ourselves out there. I know it seems old-fashioned and I’m sure some girls love to make the first move. Not me, no. na ah. In the same way guys should still open the door for us, they should be the ones to introduce themselves to us. You are less afraid of rejection than us, and I personally promise if you come up to me and make the first move I will be polite and friendly. I appreciate how much it takes to do so, even if I will not do it myself. Just gunna put it out there guys, we know it takes guts, so a brave gesture is never a bad way to start a relationship.
2) COMPLIMENTS NOT CRIPPLING CLICHÉS
Lets not start out with a lie here guys. Most girls love compliments and she will remember them if delivered properly. However I have sat through enough blood curdling sittings of “Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging” to feel the need to emphasis the difference between complimenting a girl and trailing off a hundred movie clichés that she can see straight through. Here is a list of good and bad lines:
One last point I would like to make on the matter of compliments is everything in moderation. One or two are nice when spread out over a period of time but when you start trailing them off one after another it just gets awkward and appears insincere.
3) KISSING 101
Okay so I have a few points to make here and this is a point where I really want to stress that I am not an expert. I am aware that members of my family read this blog, so first of all Hi guys and second of all please do not get the wrong idea about me. Observations of others, telly and minimal personal experience.
i) Don’t ask to kiss us or announce that the action is coming. I don’t know what dodgy romance shows you guys have been watching but trust me it is not good. You’ll ruin the moment, making it predictable and boring, keep some spontaneity in the room and just go for it. I’m not saying just go up to a randomer and grab her face but if you are talking to a girl and the mood seems right then go for it, if you read it wrong she will let you know but she would have done that anyway, at least this way you appear the alpha and are not asking for permission to get it on. Grow a pair and go for it, I don’t know what Made in Chelsea feat. Sandra Bullock movie you saw that move on but in the real world; it’s not working for you.
ii) This second one is one I urge you to take on board and is sort of in two parts, but I swear I’ll keep it brief. Firstly don’t assume that every girl you meet at a party is drunk enough to want to get with you, the amount of times I have been the designated sober at a party and a guy has just come up and licked my face without any introduction. NO. This is unacceptable, while I have previously stressed that guys should make the first move this is not it. Get to know her (name at the VERY least). My second point and if it is vulgar I really do apologise, easy on the tongue. I have deflected and seen deflected enough of these ‘moves’ to know that you are going in for too much too soon.
iii) My final input on this issue is to know what you’re doing with your hands. Not in a gross way just to have them rigidly at your sides is just too awkward to watch. By no means am I saying a good grope is what you should be up to. Waist, Back, Hips, Neck these are all same places that will make the situation far less awkward. This was a little one, but it needed to be said.
4) DON’T FREAKING LIE
Just don’t do it. It’s not needed and your ass is gunna get caught eventually. If it’s about your job, relationship status, hobbies, fidelity just tell the truth. Chances are it doesn’t matter or if it does then better to get it out early rather than later. Just want to make the point that most of aren’t that great at poker. Meaning you have a tell, a sign that you’re lying and chances are its pretty damn obvious. So just tell the truth, it may not be as impressive and flattering but it is what’s necessary. Also there is no point in lying about things to make you seem like the perfect guy because it may backfire putting a girl off because she feels she could never compare to you or that you international basketball player & Brain surgeon will get bored with her. So do us all a favor and tell the bloody truth.
5) CHECK PLEASE
This may be a bit of a controversial issue and there maybe a few girls reading this pulling their hair out and screaming about the twenty-first century. I am not saying girls should expect guys to pay and certainly not every time they go out, some women may not even want to be paid for. But it is a nice gesture, on the first date if the girl is treated. GIRLS do not kick up a fuss if he doesn’t pay, it is not law or the required thing and should be appreciated if it happens but not to be expected, so bring cash with you, don’t be ‘that girl’. Now the guy shouldn’t have to pay on every date and defiantly after the relationship has formed splitting the bill or even you treating him should be the done thing. Also guys don’t make a big deal out of it, be gracious and subtle, do not go on and on. I know it may seem like a small thing but it is the little things that can make a difference.