Recessively Dominant

There are a lot of things we look for in friendship. We want someone we can relax around, who we can have fun with and we feel is trustworthy. But its difficult to see how our friendships mould us in to the perfect companion.

This post is very conceptual and maybe completely incorrect, but it is based on an observation I have made on several occasions both about myself and others. Maybe it has been made a million times or maybe I am making a sociological breakthrough, but for the purpose of this post I am going to write on the basis that I am making a entirely new observation. Apologies if this is the millionth and first time you will hear this.

Friendships work on the basis of opposites attract, I don’t mean that you can have nothing in common with your friends, but there are certain personality traits that lend themselves to occurring only once in a successful relationship. Here  I am focussing particularly on being shy, or outspoken. Talking or being spoken to, leading or following. For all intensive purposes the Dominant and the Recessive.

Allow me to talk GCSE biology for  a moment. All genes are either recessive or dominant, If two recessives occur in the same genotype then the recessive gene is the one that will occur. In terms of friendships, this is doomed, you need someone to step forward and be the brighter character, as horrible as it may sound to you and maybe I am not wording it correctly, there has to be a dominant friend. The same result will occur if two larger than life Dominants appear together, they will destroy each other in the fight for the lime light. So the recipe (mixed metaphor check me out) for a perfect friendship is a little bit of both.

This is not to say that two dominants cannot be friends, just that during their time together one of them will assume that alpha role and the other that of the beta. I also do not mean that you cannot at some point in time be both the dominant and the recessive person. It is all about adapting to your environment. Assessing a situation, deciding what is required of you and acting accordingly. I myself am a fairly quite person, I prefer to listen to a person and form my own opinions of them quietly never voicing them unnecessarily. I avoid conflict and enjoy pleasing people, I by nature am a recessive. However, I have recently found myself playing the part of a dominant. Taking the role of the leader and playing up to make my company feel at ease, if I’m honest I don’t know if I like this side of myself all that much, the false representation of confidence and optimism leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but I do so because It is what is required to make a friendship work.

It is not only in myself that I have noticed it, it is everywhere, the shyness we put on around those larger than life characters as it is easier to concede than to fight a losing battle for the leading role. In the same way we have all made the effort to speak a little louder and make a couple more jokes when with those crippled with nerves because it is through this that we make them feel at ease. Have you ever heard someone say, ‘Ohh they are really chatty around me’ or ‘I just can’t seem to hold a conversation with them’. Very few of us are straight forward, we all have the ability to fill the role required, some are just more willing than others to play the part.


Old habits die hard.

I’ve gotten blog lazy. Shame on me. A slap on the back of the hand and a stern talking to are in order. The reason I am so annoyed is because this is so typical of myself.

I get attached to something and never see it through. In the last 4 years I have had a blogger, 2 wordpress blogs, tumbler, 2 twitters, a facebook and a live journal ohh and a youtube page. ENOUGH! I swore to myself that this time it would be different and that I would be strict with myself, but alas it has been two weeks since my last post. It is nice to see however, that even though I have not linked anyone to my page in around 20 days, there has still been a couple of people viewing it

I get excited about new projects, friendships and challenges very easily but have very little follow through. I can sort of play the piano, know phrases of German, have a mostly tidy bedroom and am armature on the guitar. I need someone to give me that push, to pester me to continue with things even when they become less of a novelty.

So I apologise to you dear reader, for abandoning my post (haha post, blog word play)  and treating you as I have done most things in my life. If anything positive can be said of this it is that I am consistent.

But no more. I will try my upmost to remain attentive here. To take pride in what I am writing and hope that people will continue to read it.

The Bald Dilemma.

I haven’t posted anything propper in a while, but in the process of writing something. For now I am just going to leave you with a thought I had during a conversation with a friend this week.

We all have bad hair days and moments when you wish that you could shave your hair off so it wouldn’t get in the way. I have this thought a lot because logistically it makes sense. If you shave your head bald its gunna be shocking for like a week and then people will get over it. But people are going to notice everytime you have a bad hair day or it looks a bit greasy. There will be many bad hair days each as bad as the next. But you will never have a bad bald day. 

Leaving you with the eternal question.  To shave or not to shave.

Indecent Indirets

Okay so I want to clear a few things up about my previous post ‘I like you I like you not’. I have had 3 guys inbox me since and ask if it is about them. It’s not. Sorry. But no. For the record none of these guys had any kind of interest in me but they were all to happy that they could add a name to their list of admirers. But to these guys I say “don’t worry, none of you are the object of my affection so you can save the ‘I like you, I just don’t like like you’ speech it is not needed. ”

I never post my blog on facebook because I feel to self concious of people I don’t know that will reading it. However, Twitter is a place where I feel that if you follow me you choose to hear my thoughts so my blog is just an extension of this and so Twitter is just a place where I can shamelessly plug for viewers. However, the post question is clearly aimed at a specific person and I wouldn’t want to make them uncomfortable by having them stumble upon it in my tweets so rest assured the person referred to in my posts does not have Twitter, or at least not to my knowledge.

It is almost comical the people that have asked if this post has been about them, even though nothing in it is reflective of our reationship. Maybe it is something about guys that they are willing to see themselves in a flattering light. Where as a post could name me personally but if it is the slightest bit complimentary it is either a cruel joke or about a different Catty. I am jealous of people’s (of the majority males) ability to see the good in themselves.

Although it was annoying trying to convince guys for the past week that the post was not about them, as of course they all think I am just lying to them to save myself embarressment, I suppose I brought it on myself. I started this blog to be honest and although my post was revealing it was a shamful indirect. If I am going to give away my personal feeling I need to be in or out. Full disclosure or generalised comments, no specific examples. The politics of blogging is just to great. In all honesty I didn’t think anyone would ever read it, regardless of how often I hounded them on Twitter. So I never thought I would have to worry about being discrete. But it is unfair to the people I am talking about to name and shame them and force my emotion upon them.

So rest assured if you are reading this you’re not my secret love *relief sweeps over you*

Also sorry to anyone who read this and could literally not care less, but I felt I owed an explanation.

Lesson Learnt: No More Indirects.

Makings of a Modern Horror

There is nothing I love more than getting in to some comfy clothes, ordering take out and sitting down in front of the telly and getting scared. I am not talking, oh God a double dip recession, what about the mortgage scared. I mean, sweaty palms, shiver down your spine, scream aloud scared. I want to jump out of my skin, hide my face in a pillow and grab the hand of the person sat next to me. This may not be particularly feminine of  me, but if I have to watch one more chick flick where the nerdy girl with bad eyebrows realises her inner beauty and feels the need to sing about it I will start flipping tables.

I Think one of the reasons I like movies like this so much is that they are pretty much all the same. That sounds odd, because well they’re not. But in so many ways, they are just one movie over and over again. They all have different, plots and casts and soundtracks but there are certain things that we have come to expect from the modern horror movie. Like a safety blanket on a holiday abroad. We are experiencing something new and exciting for the first time, but there are still home comforts so we don’t feel completely alone.

So here is a list of several of what I consider to be the makings of a Modern Horror. You may disagree, In which case feel free to comment below and share your thoughts, or you may have other points that you wish to add, again comment below.


1)      The Light in an abandoned house

This will normally come at the beginning of the film, and is generally a room on the top floor, occasionally it will be accompanied by a face at the window, but regardless is guaranteed to make you jump.

2)      The ‘Victim’ will be wearing a white vest top at the time of main attack

I have several theories as to why this is the case, however I think it is probable that it just shows blood and injury effectively. So good job costume department, thinking ahead. I also feel that in the case where the victim is female, it gives a chance to emphasis her chest when she may not otherwise be looking all that attractive. However, I think it is mostly just a blood thing.

3)      Someone will play an instrument at some point

Maybe this is to lighten the mood or build atmosphere or something, but there is normally some kind of band or ensemble. All I know is if I have to see one more Hollywood actress pretend BADLY to play the guitar I may pull my hair out. I don’t understand that if It is not essential to the story and they can’t actually play, why make them play?

4)      The ‘bad guy’ will appear to be dead and then lunge when you get close

This is the point where, even if at the movies we all go back to our panto roots and start yelling at the screen. I personally adopt a sort of Eddie Murphy in Shrek voice and start going ‘You know he ain’t dead, why you be approaching him, look at him he just sleepy, he gunna get cho’. Some of my finer voice over work if I do say so myself

5)      Someone will get a missed call

This will be unlike any call you have ever missed, ever! The person being called can never just have left their phone on silent, or have gotten in the shower. No, this missed call is the biggest sign in the whole movie that S*** is about to go down. Maybe, it is just me but I miss more calls than I answer, people need to calm the hell down , doesn’t mean they are being brutally murdered just that they don’t have their phone permanently stapled to their hands.

6)      It will rain

I love a bit of prophetic fallacy in a film, don’t you? It is never light rain, it pours like It has never rained before, and you will suddenly have an over whelming need to be outside during this weather . Unlike the rest of us normal folk who when it rains with such enthusiasm, just make a cup of coco and hide away until the sun is shining. It just proves that no good can come from going outside in the rain.

7)      There will be a creepy black and white flash back.

This can be a result of one of two things. We can be going back to a dark moment in the killers past, to see what made them so terrible and twisted in the first place, maybe they were bullied as a child or exposed to deadly gases as a teen. Or we can be seeing a troubling part of the victims past, something they had repressed due to pain but that comes flooding back when the delve in to the life of their mysterious neighbour. Either way, budgeting seems to have been cut for these flash backs as they are never in colour and the sound quality is appalling, very echoy.

8)      The words ‘scream all you want, no one can hear you’ will be uttered in some form or another

That is the classic line. I don’t care what you say if it doesn’t appear at some point in the movie then the movie wasn’t worth watching. I think its brilliant and I would love to know who first said it. It just has so much of an impact if well delivered. I don’t care if it is cliché or over used, it is a classic for a reason.

9)      There will be a sheriff with a moustache

Okay so I am from the UK, maybe it is different here I don’t know. But not many people here have moustaches, and what facial hair you have isn’t dependent on your vocation. So will some American please explain to me why in nearly every horror I watch there is a Sheriff called Bill with a caterpillar on his upper lip. I guess they pick people with short names to be sheriff because It means the badges are cheaper?  But still, the Moustache is that really necessary? Maybe it’s a culture thing and I’m missing it.

10)   At some point there will come a stage when you think ‘don’t look behind that door’

Again my inner Eddie Murphy emerges. ‘Don’t do it. Just turn around and keep walking, go home. Make a cup of tea! Don’t you turn that handle. No rainbows live behind that door. Don’t do it’ I think it is a coping device personally. By being annoyed that they didn’t follow our advice and went ahead and opened the door anyway, we can have an almost nonchalant attitude to their impending doom, thinking quietly to ourselves ‘well I told you not to go in there’.

So they are my ten, let me know if you have any more or disagree with the above. I would also like to emphasise that I am not being critical in the slightest, moments like these are the reason I love horror movies!